This spring, I have this feeling of being on the edge of something meaningful, being on the tip of myself somehow. I am manifesting a dream that has grown within me since I can remember dreaming. The only way I can manifest this dream is through self-leadership. And then it occurred to me that spring is about self-leadership being born.
Our cultural and religious beliefs reflect this concept. Christians celebrate Christ (the son of God) being reborn. The Jewish community commemorates the Israelites' liberation from slavery in Egypt. Hindus celebrate Rama’s (the ideal man) birthday, an avatar of Vishnu (the preserver), with aarti, an offering of light representing the removal of darkness and ignorance. These celebrations recognize the leadership in us, begging us to step up to the plate and asking us to bring integrity to our game.
Each of us lives up to our best self differently, and self-leadership honors alignment in that uniqueness. Feeling for these avenues can be challenging and this is where brainstorming stirs the soul.
Over the past few months, I planted insights and inspirations and like well‑tended seeds, they have begun to push through fertile soil and take shape. Acknowledging their bloom is delicious and I savor the moment, watching each detail come to life.
“Spring doesn’t ask the seed to prove itself; it simply invites it to break open and lead the way.”
Take your time on this next section, breathe through each thought, and record your response.
What is my purpose?
What does self-leadership mean?
What does Integrity mean?
What does honoring my word mean?
Describe ‘being accountable’?
What does trust your inner compass mean?
Flight or Fight Insights: When your fight‑or‑flight alarm goes off—racing pulse, tight jaw, a sudden urge to defend or escape—treat it as a dashboard light, not a verdict. Pause long enough to notice the thoughts surging in its wake, then look for contradictions with curiosity rather than judgment. Silently murmur “Huh,” jot a quick note, and leave the observation loose; the goal is to catch patterns, not condemn yourself.
Consider a classic trigger, “I’m not good enough.” Maybe a colleague’s critique lands and your chest tightens. Instead of spiraling, you meet the thought head‑on: Excellence is not perfection. My preparation plus adaptability equals competence. By reframing the moment, you shift from self‑attack to self‑leadership, using the physiological surge as fuel for clarity.
This approach works because the body’s alarm simply flags a perceived threat—it doesn’t prove one. Naming the reaction (“Huh, anxiety spike”) neutralizes the shame that keeps conflicting beliefs underground. Over time, repeated notations reveal that fear, not facts, drives most of the distress. Each small pattern shift, like replacing perfectionism with a more realistic standard, turns raw insecurity into a plan of action.
Practice this loop whenever the “not good enough” script appears. With every cycle, you collect evidence, refine your skills, and strengthen the inner leader who already knows you are enough, growing steadier and stronger each time the alarm sounds.
Act Now: When a flash of insight shows you how to improve, make an immediate promise to act on it. Action anchors the lesson before hesitation or self‑doubt can push it aside.
Be patient with yourself. At first, you might forget to follow through. Each time you catch the lapse, whether hours or minutes later, give yourself a quick pat on the back. Noticing sooner is proof of progress.
Quietly remind yourself, “I’m getting closer; I’m getting better every day.” This simple jingle turns self‑correction into encouragement. Repeated often, it rewires your reflexes: insight → action → affirmation. Over time, those small, timely steps compound into real transformation.
Self‑Boundaries:
When pressure mounts, tune in to the chatter in your head. Recently I noticed mine during a tight deadline: I called myself names, silently pushed all my buttons, profanely abused myself and the merciless tirade continued. Suddenly, I listened to myself and I was shocked. I’d never accept such abuse from someone else, so why tolerate it from myself? That moment of recognition let me address the critic as I would any outside heckler, firmly yet kindly. I paused, took a deep breath, and replied (silently), “that’s not helpful. I’m learning, and one setback doesn’t define my worth.” Instantly, I felt better, my thoughts cleared, and I returned to the task with fresh energy.
The same principle works whenever “not good enough” scripts arise. Suppose your draft comes back covered in edits. The reflex might be, “See? You’re just not cut out for this.” Instead, stop and ask, “Would I say that to a friend?” Then reframe: “Edits are part of the process; they sharpen my skills and strengthen the piece.” The defensive fog fades, curiosity returns, and the revisions become an opportunity instead of proof of failure. Each time you catch and rewrite these harsh messages, you reinforce an internal boundary that safeguards growth rather than sabotaging it.
Distraction
When you catch yourself ruminating, stuck on the single snag in an otherwise successful day, remember our brains are wired with a “negativity bias.” If you have ten items on your list and nine are humming along, the mind instinctively zooms in on the one that isn’t. That survival‑era reflex kept our ancestors alert to danger, but in modern life, it often magnifies minor setbacks and drains our energy.
To break the loop, I hit pause and redirect my attention. I’ll cue up a fantasy audiobook, dig into new research, garden, walk my dog, roll out a yoga mat, cook, paint, sing, or launch a spontaneous mini‑adventure. The practice began in college: whenever grief or stress closed in, my roommate and I would talk it through and then announce, “Grab your keys—we’re going on an adventure!” I still lean on that ritual today. By deliberately shifting focus, I give equal airtime to the nine wins, reclaim perspective, and return to the one problem, if it still matters, with a calmer, more creative mind. More times than not, not only does the one start working or disappears the other nine get better too.
Glow‑Up
A “glow‑up” is the process of becoming the best version of yourself. Any time you prepare for something—a big event, a challenging conversation, a new goal—that preparation itself is your glow‑up. In choosing to glow, you allow your inner light to shine outward, and a fresh radiance follows. Let the phrase glow‑up serve as a mental anchor, a daily reminder that self‑transformation is not a one‑off project but an active, ongoing journey.
When a challenge appears, I treat it as a glow‑up rep, an invitation to level up my character. First, I pause to separate what’s mine to shape (my thoughts, choices, and effort) from what lies beyond my reach. Then I redirect all energy into virtues I value: courage, temperance and wisdom, knowing each disciplined action becomes a chance to radiate a clearer, stronger version of myself.
If this article sparked thoughts or questions, please share them, I’d love to craft a follow‑up post or email featuring your ideas.
I coach WHAT IS WORKING for you with conversations that turn perception into perspective. Book a consultation, no obligation, just an opportunity to see if we spark.