Many of us work hard, striving toward goals we’ve been told matter: the corner office, the six-figure salary, the perfectly curated social media presence. But somewhere along the way, a question emerges. Whose version of success am I actually chasing?
It’s a question worth sitting with. If the answer doesn’t quite feel like yours, then perhaps it’s time to explore what authentic alignment could look like.
Alignment: Living in Accord with Yourself
Alignment isn’t about pleasing others or living up to someone else's standards; it 's about the profound sense of congruence when your inner values, actions, and aspirations are in harmony. When you're truly aligned, work feels less like a chore and more like a meaningful contribution.
Imagine turning down a high-paying job that clashes with your values, and instead choosing a role that allows you to make a difference in the world that is meaningful to you. Or picture yourself setting healthy boundaries, saying "no" to commitments that drain your energy and "yes" to activities that fuel your soul. These are expressions of alignment. It feels like quiet confidence, a sense of peace, and a knowing that you're on the right path, your path.
Of course, we can't always be in perfect alignment. Life throws curveballs, and sometimes we find ourselves off course. But it's often through this contrast, the feeling of misalignment, the sense that something isn't right, that we gain clarity about our true desires. Pain can be a powerful catalyst, helping us to better define what we do want by revealing what we don't want. These moments, when met with self-awareness and courage, can be invaluable in steering us toward living a life in accord with our best self.
"I can't always change the direction of the wind, but I can always adjust my sails."
-Jimmy Dean
Self-Leadership: Guiding Yourself First
We can’t always control what happens to us, but we can control how we respond. Self-leadership is about building our inner compass and resilience. It's also about recognizing that living a life of self-leadership is, in itself, an example that inspires others. Sometimes, it's not about actively seeking to lead, but rather understanding that living our best, most authentic self gives others permission and encouragement to do the same.
Think of a stressful workplace situation. Without self-leadership, it’s easy to react in frustration. With it, you pause, focus on what’s within your influence, and model steadiness that others naturally follow. The Stoics would call this leading yourself first, and from there, leading others becomes possible.
Imagine a world of self-accountability. Embracing life as self-discovery becomes key; "know thyself" guides us. Self-leadership isn’t just self-management, it is about understanding our strengths, weaknesses, values, and purpose leading us to live life intentionally.
Coaching: Partnership for Self-Leadership
It's important to distinguish coaching from therapy. Therapy often focuses on past painful experiences to process and gain insight, while coaching focuses on present goals and aspirations. As a coach, my role is to guide and empower you to cultivate self-leadership and hold space for your best self.
Unlike a therapist, I don't hold you accountable. Accountability is an inside job: it's part of your self-leadership. Coaching is a partnership where we focus on creating an action plan and strategies, help you overcome the hurdles, and hold you as resourceful and whole.
Stoic Wisdom for Modern Life
The Stoics believed that living in harmony with our nature brings resilience, wisdom, and even joy. Thousands of years later, their philosophy offers a framework to traverse financial stress, career crossroads, relationship struggles, with perspective and grace.
Stoicism helps us manage anxiety by focusing on what we control, our thoughts and actions, accepting what we can’t. Resilience grows through practices like negative visualization, preparing us for adversity. Stoicism promotes healthier relationships by emphasizing empathy and controlling our reactions, rather than controlling others. Stoic virtue and contribution offer a grounding sense of purpose, and reasoned decisions, free from emotion, lead to better outcomes. Gratitude for what we already possess enhances contentment, while self-reflection creates growth.
"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end." -Seneca
Joywork: Fulfillment Beyond Success
Picture redesigning your work life so that the work you enjoy most, connecting with others, solving problems, creating, aren’t squeezed into the margins, but placed at the center. Research by Gallup indicates that engaged employees are 21% more productive, leading to higher profitability. Moreover, companies that encourage creativity and innovation see revenue growth rates that are, on average, 12% higher than their less innovative competitors (Source: McKinsey). By prioritizing joywork, you not only evolve your personal continuity but also unlock your potential to drive significant business success. It's a win-win, a fulfilling career and a successful business.
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A Reflection to Leave You With
So, are you building a life aligned with who you are, or chasing someone else’s dream?
The answer doesn’t come all at once, but with each step toward alignment, self-leadership, and joywork, the path becomes clearer.
Ready to start building a life aligned with your true self? Identify one small step you can take this week to nurture your alignment, self-leadership, or joywork.
